英語大賽獲獎作文

英語大賽獲獎作文范文

英語大賽獲獎作文范文

本期點評專家：

 趙秀鳳，中國石油大學(xué)外國語學(xué)院教授、博士，全國英語創(chuàng)新大賽顧問委員會副主任，第十屆、第十—屆全國創(chuàng)新英語大賽評委。

 參賽佳作

 姓名：張雅婷

 學(xué)校：淄博市實驗中學(xué)

 成績：96

 A letter to my Mom

 Dear Mom,

 I´m writing this letter, filled with guilt andanxiety. But I still have to tell you: I´ve run awayfrom home with my boyfriend-Tony. In fact, weclicked straightaway at first sight. Ilove the tattooon his body which has a variety of pattems. Ofcourse, he has a few girlfriends and we fell outa cmlple oftimes about tbis. Things are gettingbetter these days, because I was pregnant andhe swore that he would be loyal to me only sincethen.

 By the way, Tony is slightly older than me(48-year-old man , not too old in the present so-ciety, righf？). However, we have no money atpresent, so we intend to move to a desert islandand build a cosy cabin in wbich we can leadour own jolly life for the rest of our lives. Afterwe have gotten used to our new life, we plan togrow marijuana to earn money for bis AIDS treat-ment. I pray he can get well soon, Amen!

 I hope youjust haven´t fainted till now,Mom. Then you can turn the letter over.

 Wbat you have just read is not tnie. Pleaseforgive me for using such an absurd way to let youImow there are many things in the world which arefar worse than I get grade L111 less than A or at-tending a sleep over. I´m still in the bloom of yo-uth and I´m full of energy .I bave passion for dan-cing, sports, etc. I´ve yeamed for choosing myown extracurricular activities for long. However,I can hardly breathe under your tough restriction.And it doesn´t make sense to even forbid mebeing in a school play. An excellent girl do-esn´t just mean good grades. In addition tothis , success is not always about control, it´salso about letting go. Leave me more freespace and I´ll do better, I promise.

 Yours truly,

 Your daughter

 May 31th, 2011

專家點評；

 這封信開頭，作者給媽媽開了一個玩笑，說了一個荒謬而又有趣的故事，吸引讀者眼球，激發(fā)讀者興趣。借這個故事，作者表示自己是個乖巧的女兒，但是渴望能拋開束縛、獲得自由，從而表達(dá)了自己對“虎媽”式教育的看法。文章結(jié)構(gòu)新穎，富有創(chuàng)意；思路清晰，語句靈活，說服力強(qiáng)。不足之處是個別語句之間的邏輯不夠清晰，存在連接詞缺失、使用不當(dāng)?shù)默F(xiàn)象。

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