The Booming of Spring

The Booming of Spring

     Spring arrives at the school in such a hurry that it is beyond anyone's expectation. After some rather cool days, the tempera ture suddenly rises up, bringing a sudden burst of heat to the whole campus. Spring is coming!
     Trees, flowers, grass and people make up the whole scene on the campus.  Everyone wakes up and everything is robust.The whole campus is heaped with energy.
     Seeing through a thin layer of water vapor, I am surprised at what is gradually unfolded before my eyes. Look, the pear trees are covered with snow white flowers. Some other unknown flowers, pink and scarlet, give life to the brown branches of trees. The grassplots seem to have turned into emerald green overnight. Holding the tiny drops of water in the rain and rising happily towards the passer-by, the grass is showing a rather vivid feeling of spring. The booming trees along the road are trying to shake away old leaves and expecting new ones. Stepping on the fallen leaves, I am fascinated by the rhythm and the mystery of life cycle.
     People in spring are as active as the surroundings. The continual rain can not stop students from studying hard. Instead, it quickens their pace of life. The sound of raindrops overwhelms the chatting of students. Colorful umbrellas set artificial separations of people. An atmosphere of study embraces the school.The early sun is an industrious reveille, urging people to be actire and diligent. Students in spring are just like early birds searching for worms.  Libraries and classrooms are both nice places for study. There are crowds reading quietly in the libraries and people practicing English aloud in the corners of buildings. Astonished by so many hardworking people, I feel ashamed of wasting time wandering about.
     Spring is a season of energy and hope. The booming spring on the campus comes to show us a new leaf of life.

簡  評
    本文描寫了春天來臨時，校園中一派生機勃勃的景象。文章的前半部分寫景：有色彩斑斕的花朵，墨綠色的草地和茁壯生長的樹木；后半部分寫人：與自然界中的萬物在春天生命力格外旺盛一樣，莘莘學子也比其他任何時候都刻苦勤奮，整個校園中都呈現出濃濃的學習氛圍。最后一段，作者總結全文：春天是精力旺盛和充滿希望的季節。
    本文存在以下不足之處：第四段中，作者的主旨是描寫人，但又不時地提到環境，如The sound of raindrops overwhelms the chatting of students．Colorful umbrellas set artificial sevaratlons of people．等，與主題句People ln spring are asactive as the surroundings無關，破壞了整個段落的統一性(unity)。在英語寫作中，一個段落表達一個主題，所有的支持句(supporting sentences)都要圍繞主題句展開。此外，最后一句a new leaf of life明顯是中式英語，可改為ushers us to a new stage of life。
    (點評教師：黃鶯)

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